For 33 years now I'm continue searching what I really want with my life. As if I am walking with a blindfold in a very dark road. I still feel the emptiness I have been feeling since I was a child. I keeps on praying for God's guidance so I can really find what I want with my life. But until now, I can't understand.
Last month I resigned because I felt that taking care of my child is the best thing I can do. I am so happy thinking that I can now personally monitor the development of my child. I don't know, there is still something inside of me which remain unsatisfied.
Just this morning I learned that I was hired. So I will work again. Who will take care of my daughter? Can that person take care of her much more than what I can do as a Mom? There are so many questions which has no answers until now?
I don't know if working again can satisfy the longing inside my heart. I don't know.
I want to take care of my child but at the same time I really need money to finance all our daily expenses. Sometimes I wish that someday I win the lottery or sweepstakes so I can have much money and can just spend my time with my daughter without worrying where to get the money to pay our expenses. Sometimes I wish that I just wake up one day and met this person outside the door ready to give us everything we need.
I wish.... I wish...
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